Area families facing new frontier in harassment

Recently, a group of students took unflattering cell-phone pictures of another student.

They posted the photos online, along with other photos of the student's head superimposed on the bodies of barnyard animals, and sent the link to everyone whose e-mail address they knew, asking them to vote on the photos.

"There was a counter on the site so you could see how many people viewed it, and it was in the hundreds," says Barbara Melton, a licensed professional counselor in Charleston. "And they actually voted on it."

Finally, the students sent the link to the student herself, who was so upset and horrified that she told her parents.

This is a new form of childhood harassment called cyberbullying or electronic aggression.

And, like the example above, it's happening right here in the Lowcountry.

"It's kind of rampant," says Melton. "Movies like 'Mean Girls' show that kids can be very cruel to each other."

But gone are the days when bullies only picked on kids on the playground. Thanks to technology, they now can do it around the clock, and they often are more cruel online than in person.

"It is 24-7," Melton says. "You can never shut it off."

Last year, Melton and Susan Shankle co-wrote a book called "What in the World Are Your Kids Doing Online?" Melton says they wrote the book because, "we had an explosion of families that have had Internet complications."

Those complications include cyberbullying.

Although there isn't much research on the topic yet because it is so new, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's "Electronic Media and Youth Violence" discusses the topic and outlines what parents and educators can do about it.

iStockPhoto

The report estimates that up to 35 percent of young people have been the victims of electronic aggression, but researchers think the numbers are low because youngsters don't really understand what bullying is or how harmful it can be.

"Fight Crime: Invest in Kids," a national, nonprofit organization of more than 3,000 police chiefs, sheriffs, prosecutors and other law-enforcement leaders, estimates that 13 million children ages 6-17 are victims of cyberbullying each year.

What it is

Electronic aggression can be done through any new technology, but it includes all the old methods: teasing, spreading rumors, mocking and threats.

The CDC defines electronic aggression as "any type of harassment or bullying that occurs through e-mail, a chat room, instant messaging, a Web site (including blogs) or text messaging."

The most common way kids ages 12-17 are harassed is via instant message (44 percent), followed by e-mail (34 percent), comments on a Web site (30 percent), text message (19 percent) and chat room (14 percent), according to the "Fight Crime" report.

Most often, the comments involved dating life (59 percent) or appearance (38 percent), the report showed.

"It's common for people to post things about people they used to date or the people they are dating now," says Anna Taylor, 17, a Summerville student.

Why they do it

Like schoolyard bullies, cyberbullies have low self-esteem and a need to boost their own egos. They can be motivated by anger or boredom or just looking to get a reaction.

Often, they act or react without thinking.

"Kids are not good at impulse control," Melton says. "There can be long-term consequences, but kids really don't think those things through."

Online, they can be smart, cool, good-looking, funny — all the things they may not be in real life.

"You can be someone else on the Internet and that's very attractive to kids," she says.

Many people who bully online think they are anonymous.

"A lot of times, people are pretty good at masking these kinds of things with false e-mail accounts and things like that," Melton says. "They think that if they create an online identity, it never will be traced back to them, but it can be."

Kids not only create false accounts in an effort to be anonymous, but they also often use someone else's account.

"They get away from thinking that these things can come back to haunt them," Melton says. "Kids need to be warned that there are so many different ways to find out who they are."

Additionally, people tend to do things online that they wouldn't do in person because of "disinhibition," behavior that is less inhibited than real life, according to the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use.

Because they don't see the victim, they don't think they have hurt anyone.

"The kids who send these tend to think it's a victimless crime," says Summerville mom Jane Connelly. "But if you have ever received a mean e-mail or comment, or if your kids have, you can see how much it hurts."

Connelly says she has encouraged her children to think about the recipient before sending anything online or on their cell phones.

"It's the old, 'How would you feel?' question," she says. "They know I expect them to treat people with respect, whether it's in person or online."

Online intimidation

Flaming: Online fights using electronic messages with angry and vulgar language.

Harassment: Repeatedly sending nasty, mean messages.

Denigration: Sending or posting gossip or rumors about a person to damage his/her reputation or friendships.

Impersonation: Pretending to be someone else and sending or posting material to get that person in trouble or danger or to damage that person's reputation, friendships.

Exclusion: Intentionally and cruelly excluding someone from an online group.

- "Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats: Responding to the Challenge of Online Social Aggression, Threats, and Distress" by N.E. Willard

Brenda Rindge can be reached at 937-5713 or brindge@postandcourier.com.