Decision makers: From schedules to finances, women taking the point

Tyrone Walker
The Post and Courier

Jessica Stevens and her husband Lucius Anderson eye big LCD and plasma screen televisions at BestBuy Thursday, Oct. 2, in West Ashley.

Like men across the country, Bruce Lydiard has relinquished the remote.

"If she wants to watch anything in particular, she gets to do that," the Sullivan's Island resident said of his better half. "She's my only wife. I don't want another one."

And the remote isn't the only control men are losing.

Women are making more decisions in the home, according to a recent survey by the Pew Research Center. That includes minor ones, such as what to watch on TV, to more significant ones, such as how to handle the family budget.

Of the couples surveyed, 43 percent reported that the woman called the shots in more areas than the man. Twenty-six percent said the man makes more of the decisions, and 31 percent said they split the decisionmaking equally.

Dr. Lisa Thomson Ross, a College of Charleston psychology professor who teaches women's studies, said some domestic decisions such as routine purchases of groceries and shoes for the kids always have been in the woman's domain. But having a say in major pur-chases and home finances may signify a shift in economic power. At least inside the home.

In addition to the questions of who chooses the channel and who manages the finances, the survey also asked the 1,260 male and female respondents who chooses the shared weekend activities and who has the final say on major purchases for the home.

And those major home purchases aren't just couches, curtains and countertops.

Inside the West Ashley Best Buy last week, Jessica Stevens and her husband together picked out a new flat-screen TV for their living room.

Stevens said she told her husband he could buy a TV without her, but he insisted she come to offer an opinion. "He wanted me to see it before he bought it," the Charleston resident said.

The folks at Best Buy seem to already know women control the purse strings. Amid the store's signature royal blue and bright yellow displays now hang pastel blue, lavender and sage banners promising "You, happier."

It's no accident that nearly 40 percent of the store's employees are female, according to manager Jeff Bagwell. "And for an electronics store, that's huge," he said.

While Stevens had veto power on the TV purchase, she probably won't be the one choosing what to watch. Her husband makes that call more often because he watches more TV, she said, adding that he's into shows such as "Survivorman," while she prefers Lifetime movies.

Chris McNiesh, also of Charleston, said he and his girlfriend don't battle over the remote because they like to watch the same things, such as "CSI" and CNN. They both manage the household finances, and they both select major purchases.

"Anything big, we've got to decide together," McNiesh said. "That's how a relationship is supposed to go. If you make a decision like that, it's going to affect both of you, so why not both of you make the decision."

The only domestic decision the West Ashley couple don't share is what to do on the weekends. McNiesh said he loves traveling, and things such as going to the movies, so he's more likely to make the plans.

Dina Padgett and her husband jointly decide what to do on the weekends, and it usually revolves around their three sons, she said. Other decisions in their Hanahan home, such as TV shows, purchases and finances, eventually land in her husband's hands.

"We always make it a point to discuss things together," Padgett said. "But usually in the final say, I don't mind that it's his. Because I don't like making major decisions anyway."

The nationwide Pew poll revealed that age was a factor in couples' decisionmaking, but income was not.

Women and men ages 65 and up were twice as likely to say they share equally in decisions than those under 30, the report states.

In homes where the man and woman both brought home the bacon, women were in control whether they made more or less than their significant others.

Lydiard, the co-pilot on the couch, says he and his wife's different strengths determine the domestic areas they control.

He manages the finances, while she takes care of "all the family stuff." (The couple have three daughters.) She also decides what to do on the weekends because women are social creatures, Lydiard said.

Overall, his wife makes more of the decisions than he does, Lydiard said.

And why is that?

"She's smarter than I am," he said. "Way smarter."

Reach Kristen Hankla at 937-5548 or khankla@postandcourier.com.